12 Days for Nikki

I really struggled with what to do for Nikki.  Not because I didn't have any ideas, but I had too many.  The biggest one I had was to walk the Frankfurt, Germany Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in her mom's honor.  My friend who runs marathons had told me about it and I thought, "How perfect! It's only like 20 minutes from me and it's one of the hugest cancer awareness run in the world."  But then it fell through.  The same weekend that it was happening, September 30, was the same weekend I miscarried.  I was bummed because as hard as I tried to be ahead of the game, I was now back to square one. 

I thought of a few more ideas but every step of the way I kept getting thwarted.  I thought of putting together a group of children to sing for our Christmas party as a children's chorus, but everyone I asked was going to be out of town.  My family discussed the idea of tying fleece blankets for children in the Children's Hospital Cancer Unit. I called Aunt Lynnae even (remember, this was having to wait for the right time of day always because we were 9 hours ahead and she had numbers from Carol Joy). She gave me numbers but nobody ever called me back.  I even researched walks for research in America, even thought about organizing the entire California Schultz family to go.  I entertained ideas of doing something that had to do with her degree in therapy, but came up empty.

All of these, though, did not seem right.  I am a true believer that if things keep falling through, there's a reason. So, one night as I was lying in bed, I started thinking, "What is something I can relate with Nikki?"  I started thinking of her life and how much I admired her for her strength in all that she went through.  I remember thinking how strong she was to be a single mom and remembered how hard it was. With any "walk of life," it's hard to really understand what someone went through until you've actually gone through it.  I thought, "What are some things that single moms need the most?" Time.  Time to themselves.  Should I find a single mom and babysit for her to go get a pedicure or go to the movies?  They need understanding without judgment about things, but I couldn't find something to do for that.  

Then I realized that my family was really getting into the Christmas season by making homemade gifts for each other and it was really bringing us closer to each other. I remember as a single mom feeling as though I wasn't giving my children a great Christmas because I was feeling so bad.   I also remember feeling stressed that I didn't have enough money to give them a great Christmas.  And sometimes I didn't even know where to start for things to do with them because my head was just in a funky place.  Christmas is a hard time, trying not to feel depressed over your broken home and trying to put on a happy face for the kids.  Having a little bit of surprise joy was something I felt a single mom could use.

That's when the idea of gifting the 12 Days of Christmas for a single mom was born.  

But who?  I didn't know any single moms in Germany.  I thought maybe I could ask mom.  But then I called Nanette. It's like all the pieces just fell together.  There was a girl whom she was really close to that was a single mom of 8-year old boy and girl twins.  She was a super neat girl, but was really having a hard time.  It was perfect.  

So, we started on the 13th of December. Nan and Myles were so amazing to help me the first few days since we didn't arrive in California til the 15th and not to her house until the 18th.  They delivered the gifts really late at night or even super early in the morning, like 5:30 a.m.  Then when I went out there, we had a fun time going late at night to do some drop and runs!

Here is the schedule of what we did:

day 1-Board Game "Sorry" to play as a family

day 2-Rice Krispy Treats with a cookie cutter

day 3-Hot Cocoa, 3 red mugs

day 4-Gingerbread House Kit 

day 5-Popcorn, Movie- The Grinch that Stole Christmas

day 6-Paper Plates & Napkins

day 7-Gingerbread Cookie Mix with frosting and sprinkles

day 8-Christmas Candy Sucker Molds with Melting Chocolate

Day 9- Glass "Believe" Jar filled with Daily "Things to Do" during the Christmas season (for example, "go see christmas lights" or "decorate sugar cookies" to Random Acts of Kindness like "Hand out Candy Canes", "Write a fun message in Sidewalk Chalk on a neighbor's driveway," "Hand out Candy Canes to strangers," "Tape quarters to parking meters", or "Sing Christmas carols at the Senior Center).

Day 10- Sidewalk Chalk in fun shapes

Day 11- Little Christmas gifts (Angry Birds game for the boy, pedicure gift certificate for the mom

Day 12- The Symbols of Christmas

Here are a few pictures...

Merry Christmas Nikki! Love, Christy

Aman-duh

I felt overwhelmingly pressured when I fatefully drew the name “Nanette”.  Not only did she put the whole thing together, she was also the only person that would know who drew her name, every other participant had the comfort of anonymity.  I had a ton of ideas of what to do, but rescuing geeks off the street wasn’t something I actually wanted to do.  I also thought about doing something for Amanda, but thought that was a little played out.  Everyone has been involved with Amanda one way or another.  I also wanted to volunteer at the juvenile jail, but Heather said that would be more for myself and less about Nanette, plus I am too thug to work in a jail.   This led me to reluctantly call Myles and ask him what I should do.  He suggested that I do an act of service for a “Mom”.  So I asked a Brazilian woman if I could come clean her kitchen (because I hate doing dishes more than anything else).  She said her kitchen was filthy and it had been accumulating dishes for a while.  So I raced over to her trailer and spent two hours deep cleaning her kitchen.  Time flew by because she has three little boys and a chatty husband who sat on a bar stool and kept me company the whole time. At first I was a little bummed that dude kept talking, I really just wanted to put on my headphones, rock out to Skrillex and clean.  However I ended up having a good time learning about their family, their struggles and success and how they are fairing in the U. S. of A.  Their family was grateful for the service rendered and even sent me an email that I will attach to the end of this post.

As I was thinking my service project, I felt like I had not really sacrificed anything and then God sent over Amanda……again.    Amanda had spent the previous night with us, and I told Heather that it was good timing because my best mission friend was up visiting us with his wife that night and Amanda wouldn’t be able to stay with us.  Then Amanda called….again.  She was too scared to stay at her apartment alone…..again.  That means that I was privileged to sleep on the couch since Amanda cant stay alone.  I was pretty bummed, I told Heather to say “no”, but Heather is too Christlike to cast away our little stowaway, Amanda.  Fast forward to the next morning and my frustration with coming home was at an all time high.  Our car was packed full with everyone’s sshhhiiii…..stuff.  “Hey can you take this?, can you take that?”.  I even had to pack a full sized bike in the back seat, we literally had no room for one more item.  Then I get a call from Heather, “hey Amanda left her entire hair kit at the Salon, we need to take it home for her”.  Awww hell naw!, and thus started the “who the heck is this dumb girl impeding on my life” rant that ensued in my mind.  I felt tried thinking nice things about her, but it wasn’t successful in stopping my rant.  After I re- pack the whole car and squeeze her kit in the car (which isn’t small) my rant is at a record setting high.  As I walk back to our apartment to check for any last minute items we may have forgot, I see a package in the mail.  All packages are for Heather, so I assume it is hers and don’t even look at who it is addressed to because I was too preoccupied with my rant.  As I toss the package on the couch I see that it is addressed to me, from Nanette.  At that moment in time I experienced what I describe as a “God moment”.  I feel the presence of something greater than my self calm my irrational rant set off by Amanduh, and I all I could think about was Nannette’s service to  me.  I realized this service project wasn’t about Amanduh, but more about keeping Nannette in mind.  I felt horrible about what I had been thinking and it was sort of a slap in the face.  Needless to say this experience was a growing one for me.

Here is the email sent to me from the Lady whose kitchen I cleaned.

            “Hi James!

            Just wanted to let you know how great it was to come home and have my      kitchen cleaned. Thank you so much!!! I know you said that you felt like it wasn't even messy. As a mom (working out of the home or not), when you feel like your house is not up to your standard, messy is messy. You made my day and better yet you brought curiosity to my children. They have asked questions of why you were cleaning the house when you don't even live with us. You have been an example to them of service and I Thank You for that.
            Hugs,
            Larisse and family”

Sleeping on the couch

                           

Amanduh forgot ALL her hair stuff

Off to Clean

Larisse

Clean Kitchen! :)